Irrepressible Pain

I have a friend who has considered suicide because of irrepressible pain he suffers due to medical challenges. He spoke with me for over an hour, helping me to understand the source of his suffering. He controlled his emotions, but I could see the pain in his eyes and I could feel the distress in his heart.

He told me he believes that Jesus is his savior. He told me he was afraid to kill himself; he said he was afraid he wouldn't go to heaven. He also told me of a child who would soon marry...and that he was focused on this event. Too much to live for, yet wanting the pain to end, even if it means death.

That's a hard place to be. My heart broke for my brother...I prayed for wisdom.

I reminded him that God knew his pain. And that he loved him. I could see that my friend believed this, but the pain dimished his understanding of how a loving God could allow such suffering.

I then said that Paul had prayed three times for God to heal him. When God didn't, Paul was reminded that in his weakness, God was strong. It was then that I encouraged my brother that when others asked him how he was able to go on, to tell them that God was his strength. That his testimony of trusting God through the pain would help others to Christ. I think it helped him. I hope it did.

I promised my friend that I would pray for him. And I will.

Would you? You don't need to know his name. Just remember his pain.

And remember the children.